Friday, September 21, 2012


I mentioned in an earlier post that we have officially transitioned from home birth to now planning a hospital birth. I will not bore you with all the details as there is a long timeline of events that lead to this move. I was not happy at first but decided to follow my husband and agreed it was the best decision for our family. In the end we both agreed that when there is risk involved meaning my life or babies life why take any risk at all. I know of many successful and unsuccessful home births and none of these families wrestled with fears so big as something fatal happening. I just couldn't bear thinking that on the biggest day of the year the birth of our son hubby would be second guessing every move of the midwife and not fully supporting me in mind and body. I just couldn't make him go through that.

I still have hesitations for a hospital birth because I have learned so much valuable information about home births, midwives and natural child birth. But when I think back to Ava Jolie's birth I would not have changed anything and her birth story is perfect. Now thinking like that has made me excited about birthing our son than the experience of labor and birthing our son at home. I have decided to take the pressure off of myself to have what I think is the perfect birth and just let go and let God. So whether that means no pain meds or all the interventions in the world in the end I just want to hold our little miracle.

I have been so caught up in all the details of laboring that I have forgotten exactly why I am going through all of this. Hello Crystal... you are growing a precious, God created, God gifted miracle inside of you focus and be thankful for that.

I birthed Ava Jolie with some assistance from something I like to call the juice (epidural). Obviously during the laboring and after her birth I was clouded with guilt over the fact that I used the juice. One person said something to me and I can't even remember word for word what this amazing person said but immediately I felt so much better the guilt lifted and I was able to enjoy my newborn. My sister was God sent at that exact moment to deliver what she needed to say and even though we were hundreds of miles away it was like she was right there next to me.

I am not writing this to support the juice but I am writing this more for myself as a reminder that however baby boy's birth story plays out it will be the perfect story for him.

My guess date (due date) is November 22nd (Thanksgiving Day) so we have about 9 more weeks to showtime. I am seriously ready to meet our baby boy.


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